When depression hits it’s like having a ton of bricks fall ontop of you. It’s like the walls around you are closing in on you leaving you feeling trapped. It takes away every little part of you until you’re just a shell of your former self. You’re left feeling completely numb and like everything around you has completely faĺlen apart. When depression hits it takes away any hope youu have of feeling okay again. It leaves this little voice in your head telling youu
“Everybody hates you”
“Nobody cares about you”
“You’re nothing you’re a nobody”
“You’re worthless and a failure”
“Nobody would care if you wasn’t here anymore”
“Everyone would be happier if you were gone”
This little voice in your head tries and sometimes can succeed in taking everything away from you. Your hope, your strength and even your life. When depression hits it makes you feel so numb like you’re paralysed to feeling. Everything around you feels so dark and draining that you struggle with simple daily tasks such as dressing, eating, showering or even brushing your own hair. You can even struggle with communicating to the point you isolate yourself of from the people you love and care about because you simply don’t want to burden them or drag them down with you. When depression hits it makes you believe you deserve feeling the way that you do, it makes you feel like you’re not worth peoples time, like you’re not worth having a place in the world anymore.
When depression hits it leaves you feeling completely exhausted. The things you once used to enjoy just don’t appeal to you anymore. Depression takes away the motivation you once may of had, it leaves you lay in your bed shutting out the world because existing simply is to exhausting. Talking is exhausting even listening is just too exhausting. Feeling any type of emotion is to exhausting and to hard for you. You feel like you don’t care about anything anymore. Nothing has meaning anymore not like it used to. Life just simply passes youu by in a complete blurr, your days just merge together one into the other. They blend together leaving you feeling completely lost. It leaves you feeling like you just don’t want to live, like existing is just simply to hard and to painful to bare.
If you’re someone who doesn’t suffer with depression it’s hard to understand what someone who does is going through. When you’re told that depression is more than just feeling “sad” that cannot be further from the truth. Depression takes everything away from a person, it makes them feel unwanted, unloved and completely alone. When depression hits all we could simply ask for is patience and understanding when we can’t bare to be around anyone and when we push you away because life is too much to handle right now just know that we don’t mean too.
As a person who suffers with depression i know first hand how hard it can be, how consuming it feels when it hits you at full force. I push away the people i love and care about the most. I isolate myself because i can’t cope with life. It takes time to even attempt/try picking yourself back up again. I go through every single thing i have wrote here and it’s hard, it beats me down until there is nothing left of me. All i would ask anyone for is understanding and patience.