lost in the darkness

I wish that I was able to say that I’m okay, but honestly I don’t even know what feeling “okay” means anymore. All I know is that I’m not okay, in far from being okay. 

I woke up this morning feeling lost, which I’m sure there will be many other people who have woken up today feeling the exact same way, my question is what are we supposed to do when we feel lost? 

In my mind all I’m able to see is darkness, there’s darkness surrounding me and there’s absolutely no light through that darkness so I’m lost, I don’t know which way to go, or who to even turn to and ask for help. I guess I just feel like the world is against me right now and nothing that I’m able to do is working to even bring just a little bit of light through. I don’t know what I’m actually expected to do. 

I told my mum today that I’m struggling and that I’m feeling so down, her first question was “have youu taken your meds” and then she tells me I’ll be fine, but again what does that even mean? How does she know that when I don’t even know it myself? Everything is really getting me agitated today, whether it be big or small its stressing me out. The only thought in my mind is “when is it bedtime” but then I know once it comes to bedtime I won’t be able to sleep I’ll just be lay in bed staring into the darkness and overthinking things in my mind so I ask myself.. Do I really lt to be bedtime? I just feel totally lost and I don’t know what to do.. 

If you’re reading this and you’re lost in this darkness and youu don’t know which way to turn or who to turn to then please know that you’re NOT alone, people do understand what you’re going through so please talk to people and let them know how you’re feeling because youu don’t deserve to go through what ever it is alone you’re worth more than that I promise youu. I’m not going to say it’ll get easier or that everything will magically disappear because I know that it won’t but just take one step at a time, go at your own pace and don’t forget that you’re not alone. You’re far more stronger than youu think. 

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