Okay, so this is going to sound a little crazy so youu lovely people just bare with me..
Life just doesn’t seem like life, if that makes sense atall.. It feels like an existence that doesn’t seem worth it. Thoughts, feelings and emotions all seem like things to hard to handle. Why live a life that causes youu constant pain, everything surrounding me seems to just be crumbling and what can I do to stop it? Absolutely nothing.. I have no control over any of it anymore. What is a person supposed to do when instead of living they’re just existing? A life that they don’t even recognise as their own. Is it actually truly worth it? The feeling you’re being constantly watched is overwhelming. Like do I say anything or does that just make me sound paranoid crazy? The nightmares and how they hold youu tightly in their grip. Do I even know what’s real and what’s not anymore? Can I really trust anyone? Thoughts are buzzing around my mind, the s never ending buzz. Its crazy the thoughts that buzz around, the thoughts that just consume your every being. I guess to somw people its sad to know someone doesn’t remember what true happiness feels like, but for me it’s a normal thing, but then again am I even really normal? (What does normal even mean?) The shell youu wear on the outside is a complete façade to what is going on inside. Its hard when youu don’t even recognise yourself, I guess a mask is just a mask.. Hating yourself fully sucks, but how else are youu supposed to feel about yourself? Am I a crazy person because of this? I just really don’t know anymore.. Life is just life but this life doesn’t feel like a life..
Okay, so I know what you’re thinking when reading this “she’s crazy” but what do I do? Does this actually make me crazy? Advice would be so much appreciated..